“Should marriage be a lifetime union or commitment?” The
preacher paused as he looked intently at the soon to be wed couple with these
opening remarks to his marriage talk.
“To know the answer, we can start by looking at the
marriage vows, what do they say?” He continued.
“For better for worse…. till death do us part……so long
as we both shall leave.”
What does this mean?
“The union you have entered into is a lifetime commitment.
Henceforth you should know this union is not reversible. There is no reverse
gear.”
Why do we respect the vows?
Genesis 2:24: “A man will leave his father and his mother
and stick to his wife.”
This indicates the intimacy and permanency of the marriage
union. It is the only relationship that God said they will become one flesh. It
means former ties to friends and relatives have to be adjusted. Friends and
family can no longer take priority. Your mate is your number 1 priority.
How can you make it last?
Matthew 22:37-39: Love God with your whole
heart…….and love your neighbour as yourself.
“God is paramount example of Love. This scripture
expresses the desire to completely devote our lives to Jehovah. Zemba your
nearest neighbour is Sylvia and Sylvia your nearest is your husband. You must
love each.”
Why should we cultivate love of God and our neighbour?
Ecclesiastes 4:12:“…… A threefold cord cannot quickly be
torn apart.
Love can make marriage stronger, but it will become even
stronger if God is part of it. This makes it become a 3-fold cord.
To the Husband
Ephesians 5:25,28,29: “Husbands, continue loving your
wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and gave himself up for
it………… In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
A man who loves his wife loves himself for no man ever hated his own body, but
he feeds and cherishes it, just as the Christ does the congregation.”
“Zemba, this is not a request but a command to continue
showing enduring love to Sylvia. You must love your wife as your own body. You
are now responsible for the well-being of your wife both physically and
spiritually.”
To the Wife
Ephesians 5:24,33: “On the other hand, the wife should
have deep respect for her husband.”
“Sylvia, you are reminded to be in subjection to your
husband. This is in line with headship i.e., Christ head of the congregation
and God head of the Christ.”
Two key things to be aware of: i) be in subjection to
your husband ii) have deep respect for your husband
“Work hard for the good of your household. Show him by
your actions that you love and deeply respect him. Always speak well of your
husband. Be a reason why he will rush home from work. For most husbands, they
work overtime to avoid reaching home early because of their wife. Remember you are a helper not a competitor.”
Clothe yourselves with love
Colossians 3:12-14:“…………… clothe yourselves with love, for
it is a perfect bond of union.”
We wear clothes to look nice, to keep us warm in winter
or to protect ourselves as in the case of personal protective equipment (PPE).
In a similar vein, clothing yourselves with love means it will beautify you in
public, protect you or keep you warm during challenging times, etc.
Always look for ways to show you love your met dearly. “Even doing small things like calling each other sweetie, honey, baby, etc. or buying each other small gifts like sweets which you know your met likes. It is not the size of the gift that matters but
the thought behind it because this shows that you were thinking of him/her when
you do it.”
If you do the small things, they will strengthen your
marriage and make it a lifetime union filled with joy and love.
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